Coffee Ceremony at the Gladney Care Center

Wednesday, September 1 was set aside for us to go to the Gladney Care Center, where our boys have lived the last several months while they've waited to be adopted. We got to tour three of the four care houses, see the rooms where our boys lived, and visit some of the beautiful children waiting for their forever families. Here are Brian and Jeremy standing in front of the Care Center where Jeremy lived:

At this point in the trip, Jeremy was really starting to feel more comfortable with us, and we didn't want to disrupt that, but this visit to the care center is part of the adoption journey, and it is the opportunity for the special mothers (the primary caregivers) of each child to say their goodbyes. First we toured Zachary's care center, and he was taken by a caregiver, and we were sent on our way to finish the tour. (We were told this would happen. The special mother takes the child from you and has some special time to say goodbye. They also buy a traditional Ethiopian outfit as a parting gift to dress the child in for the coffee ceremony.)

As we neared Jeremy's care house, he was calm as could be, and as soon as his special mother found him, she approached him, and his face absolutely lit up, and he went right to her...no problem at all! Jeremy's special mother is named Mami (pronounced "Mommy"), and she is a beautiful woman, inside and out! I'm so glad she loved and cared for him all of those months he spent in Gladney's care.

She immediately put him in one of the cribs and started changing him into his traditional outfit.

Can't you just feel how much she loves him?!

After we finished our tour of the care centers, we congregated in the living room of one of the care houses for a traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony.

This woman roasted the coffee beans and then ground them by hand with a mortar and pestle. And then the coffee was served.

Soon, Mami and Jeremy entered the room and she presented him to us in his adorable outfit.

She was so strong and dignified in the way she handled her goodbye. She hugged and kissed him, and asked for a kiss from him (which he obliged), and she handed him over to us.

She posed for a picture with us, we thanked her for caring for our son, and then she walked out of the room...and as she walked away, my mom saw her wiping away tears from her eyes.

This is Zachary with his special mother, Hiwot:

We didn't get to spend as much time talking with Hiwot as we did with Mami, but one of the Gladney interns said that Hiwot is a wonderful caregiver. We believe it! All of the children in Gladney's care seem so well loved and well taken care of.

After leaving the care centers, all of the adoptive families and our children went to Top View, a restaurant with a view of the city. Jeremy sat right next to me and shared my lasagna with me, and then he wanted to toddle around, and I snapped this shot of my gorgeous boy!

It was another amazing day in Ethiopia!

Ethiopia - Day 6 (Part Two) - Visiting the Government Orphanages

In the afternoon, we visited three government-run orphanages in Addis Ababa (Ethiopia’s capital city of 4 million people). The first orphanage we visited is the Kolfe Orphanage for older boys (ages 7-20). It was definitely bare bones conditions, but it was encouraging to see some of the improvements that have been made for the boys’ lives there, due in large part to donations made through Gladney. It makes us happy that our agency is not just about adoption, but also about providing humanitarian aid to orphans who may not ever be adopted!

The second orphanage we visited is called Kebebe Tsehai (meaning “Round Sun”). This orphanage is for newborns – 7 years old (all orphans that need families!). It was the saddest and worst of the orphanages we saw. We first walked into the baby room, and the stench of sour milk and stale air was potent. I noticed a couple of the men had to cover their noses until they adjusted to the smell. The room was pretty much wall-to-wall metal cribs with just enough space to walk between the rows. Every crib was occupied. The orphanage is severely understaffed. For the 30 or so babies that were there, there were only two caregivers. They have to prop bottles for the babies to be fed, which can lead to pneumonia. There were a lot of sick babies, and each one has his or her own story. I want to tell you about just one of them, because he is the one who I (for reasons only God knows) connected with.

When I asked if I could hold a baby, I was told by a Gladney staff who was there with us, “By all means! Please hold one. These babies need to be held!” So I looked around and found a tiny baby who looked like he was maybe six weeks old—no bigger than the first pictures that I saw of our Biruk when he was referred to us. I wanted to pick him up, but he didn’t have a diaper on, and he was lying in his own feces. (I imagine that someone took off a previously soiled diaper, but never got back to putting on a new one, as they are so overwhelmed by the needs of so many babies). Someone alerted one of the two caregivers, who came over and diapered him and returned him to his crib all swaddled.

I picked him up and gave him his bottle. He wasn’t so interested in the milk, but this tiny baby boy never took his eyes off of me, and when I looked into his eyes and talked to him, he smiled at me. Let me tell you, I am sure that his smiles were not because he was a charming newborn (though he was soooooo precious), and they certainly weren’t because he was charmed by me. Instead, I sensed his desperation. It was as if he was trying to communicate with me that he so desperately NEEDED someone’s eyes to gaze upon him. I held him until it was almost time to go, trying to give him what I sensed he needed—connection. And then, I put him in his crib and prayed that God would care for Him and provide this sweet baby with a Mommy. It broke my heart.

I’m so thankful that most of those babies will be adopted eventually, as adoptive families tend to want to adopt infants. Still, Belay Tafesse (director of Gladney’s Ethiopia Program) drove home the sobering truth that some of the babies there don’t live to be adopted, saying that he once saw seven babies die in that orphanage in one night. The internationally accepted standard for orphanages is to have a minimum of one caregiver for every five babies. Gladney’s care centers (where our boys are currently living) have one caregiver for every three babies. The Kebebe Tsehai orphanage has one for every FIFTEEN babies.

It only costs $70 US per month to pay a caregiver, and we all have to power to make a change! Would you consider making a difference in the lives of Ethiopia’s orphans by contributing money to hire more caregivers at Kebebe Tsehai? Another adoptive family is partnering with the Gladney Center for Adoption to make this project HAPPEN!!! Click HERE to read more about it and to learn how you can become involved!

Thank you for considering providing for the needs of the poorest of the poor. These babies need us, and we can help to significantly improve their circumstances and lives!