Love Never Ends...

My favorite photo (taken in 2013) with my 3 kids.

One of the ways to translate 1 Corinthians 13:8 (the famous “Love never fails” verse) is “Love never ends.” Ever since becoming a mother, this is my preferred translation, as it feels most true to me (and, frankly, I need it to be true). Since becoming a mother, I have spent too much time worrying about what would happen to my children, if I should die an untimely death. Would they know how much I loved them? As I parent my kids, the one thing I really care about in terms of what they remember about their childhoods and their relationship with me is that they were dearly and deeply loved by their mama.

When I think about love never ending, it gives me such peace. It feels so powerful! I like to imagine my love rippling out toward them in waves that envelope them and float eternally into the vast reaches of the universe, so that no matter where they wander in time and space during their lives, my love will always find them. Just like the psalmist says, “If I ride on the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.”

A time will come when I will no longer be with my children in the flesh, but my love for them will never end. It will always resonate throughout all time and space. And it will find them, even in the darkest corners.

Faithfulness in the Mundane: A New Year's Reflection

Happy New Year! I hope you and your families had a wonderful holiday and that you were able to celebrate the ringing in of 2016 with those you hold dear.

As seems to be the norm every year, beginning the day after Christmas, I started seeing posts like these lighting up my newsfeed:

Make 2016 the BEST. YEAR. EVER!!!

and

This year is going to be AMAZING!!! 2016...I'm coming after ya!

and

BOOM! New year. New goals. New ME! Let's do this!!!

All of these thoughts make for fabulous mental pep rallies, but I have to admit that as a mother of three little ones, they leave me blinking at my screen a little perplexed. Sure, I have my own projects and passions: I am an actress and I run a photography business. Those represent major parts of who I am and what I love to do. My main job in life, though, is to keep these three little people alive and kicking! For me, that means a steady diet of cuddles, carpool runs, laundry loads, wiping noses, and showing off my culinary genius by microwaving the heck out of individual serving sizes of mac 'n' cheese bowls. In other words, it's a wonderful life, but it ain't exactly a glamorous one.

I recently had a really meaningful Facebook messenger exchange with an old friend, who is also an actress and also deep in the trenches of motherhood. As we caught up on each other's lives, she commented that one of the main life lessons she had been learning was to persevere in her faith and to be faithful in the mundane.

Faithful in the mundane. Those words continued to ring in my head for days and weeks after our conversation, precisely because they rang so true in my life. Motherhood, as awesome an experience as it is, seems to be (to quote Eugene Peterson) a long obedience in the same direction.

Do I have personal and artistic goals for 2016? YES! Big ones! Will it be the BEST. YEAR. EVER? Probably not. But that is just fine with me! Maybe being in my 40's now has taught me that life is dotted with moments (and seasons) of incredible highs and heartbreaking lows, but most of life is the normal rhythm of daily living. And it's okay to embrace that. For me, it is essential. The buzz of life's highs when a new goal is achieved is truly amazing, and the sting of life's lows during those inevitable hard times hurts more than I care to think about, but I believe that keeping my feet grounded in the present moment of all of that in between time is where personal contentment is found. That is where the bulk of life is lived. It is where the love of family, the intimacy of true friendship, and our deepest support systems thrive. It is also where God meets us and holds us and loves us, even if it doesn't seem like it. And if I can be faithful to Him and all that He has called me to in and through the mundane moments, the hum-drum days and even the long seasons of blessed normalcy that will surely be part of my 2016, I know it will be a wonderful year!

Never Letting Go...

Each of my kids is special in his/her own unique way. Zachary has always been my tender-hearted, kind, sweet one.

The other night we were hugging each other, and he said, "I'm never letting go." I melted into a puddle of mush right then and there! Our hug lasted a good, long time, when we eventually had to let go. But we decided together that even when we have to let go of our hugs, we will never let go in our hearts.

Now it's kind of our thing. Whenever we hug or hold hands, one of us will say, "Never letting go."

I love it. And I love him. So. Much.

Tears of Pride

There are certain moments when I pause to reflect and I'm overwhelmed at how GOOD life is! This is one of those moments for me.

This morning, we attended the last game of Jeremy's t-ball season. When he got up to bat, my inner softball player came out and coached him from the sideline..."This is the last time up to bat this season, buddy! So hit it 'Jeremy Style'...hit it as hard as you can!"

Little Dude didn't disappoint! He whacked that ball good 'n' hard and sent it sailing to the outfield! I leapt to me feet so fast, screaming at the top of my lungs, tears filling my eyes. It was all blurry, but I didn't even care because my heart was filled was such pride. That's MY boy!

Driving home, it hit me that I always thought there were just two kinds of tears: tears of sadness and tears of joy. But parenthood has taught me a new way to cry: with tears of PRIDE!

As I sat down to begin writing this post, I was overwhelmed with emotion...not at his t-ball playing, but at how incredibly grateful I am that God has given me these three amazing, precious, awesome children to parent and to love. I couldn't love them more. We may not share DNA, but they are my flesh and blood just the same. And I couldn't be more proud to call them my own!

Let's Play Ball!

Jeremy is on a tee-ball team this year, the Colorado Rockies--GOOOO ROCKIES!!!

Today was his second game of the season, and this former softball player of a mom was soooo proud of my boy! Jeremy played in the infield today, and wow did he do great! His coach gave him a game ball after the game for doing such a good job today.

Here are some pics of my guy in action!

Bluebonnets

Every Texan child goes through a rite of passage--being photographed in a patch of our state flower...bluebonnets! This was Zoe's year, which is only appropriate for the one native-born Texan in our family!

Three Teeth and a Whole Lot of CUTE!

Dear Zoe,

On January 2, you got your first tooth, and I thought there could be nothing cuter than baby Zoe with one bottom tooth. Honestly, look at this face!

But two weeks later, your second bottom tooth popped through, and the cuteness just increased!

Valentines Day 2014

You are such a happy baby girl and you smile at me every day, so this sweet two-toothed grin has been warming my heart for the past month.

Today we were at a local playground with your brothers. I was holding you and you smiled at me, and I noticed your third tooth poking through. I'm yet to get a good photo of it, but I will soon. It's your top left tooth. 

Zoe, I feel badly because I haven't blogged about your first year the way I did with your brothers, but having three kids has brought a whole new meaning to the word "overwhelmed" and there simply isn't enough time for regular blogging. However, I want you to know that I've been having an absolute blast with you! You are truly my dream-come-true! The bond we share as mother and daughter is really something special, and the true hope of my heart is that we will be close for life. You're such a blessing to us, and I will be thankful to God for placing you in our family forever!!!

I will always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always hold you in my heart.

I love you,

Mama