A Word of Encouragement

Yesterday, I went out to take a walk with the boys in our double stroller. Along the way, Jeremy spotted a dog and said, "Puppy!". As we got closer, it was, indeed, a Jack Russell Terrier puppy. He was on a leash and was acting crazy and wired, as Jack Russells are prone to do.

"My son loves dogs," I told the puppy's owners, as we slowed to a stop for Jeremy to admire the pooch.

My son. My son! It rolled ever so naturally off my tongue, as if I'd been saying it for years!

"Don't let him get too close," the dog owners, said, "He's a crazy dog!"

"I understand. My father had several Jack Russells!"

"They never get better!", said one of the dog's owners.

"No! They're always crazy!", I yelled back to them, as we continued on our way.

"Thanks for saying that..." she replied, sounding somewhat disappointed.

I thought that was an odd final reply to an otherwise pleasant exchange, but as I continued walking on, I realized that she didn't actually say, "They never get better!" Instead, she must have asked me, "Do they ever get better?"

Whoops! She asked me if it ever gets better, and I told her "No!" Poor woman!

It reminded me of our first week or two home from Ethiopia, when we were more tired than we'd ever been, jet lagged, and still getting to know our children. It was a stage of life that I refer to as "the post-adoption haze". We were walking around like semi-zombies doing the best we could. When people would tell us that we looked like we were doing great, Brian would humorously reply, "We're just faking it!"

Occasionally, when someone would ask how we were doing, and our reply was "tired", their response would often be, "Well, get ready... It will be like that for the next 18 years!" Hearing that would make me want to throw up a little.

While I still don't feel as well-rested as I'd like to be, I feel much better than I did during that first jet lagged week or two, when we were muddling through "the haze".

I'm writing this for all of the adoptive families that are about to travel to Ethiopia to bring your children home (and also for my own encouragement, because we still have some really hard days): When you are home with your kids and you're tired and it's hard because you're in the haze of post-adoption and that stinkin' jet lag just won't stop, remember that you read on some blog that it does get easier!!!

And one day you won't be quite so tired, and you'll be on a walk of your own, or at the grocery store, or at church, and you'll say "my son" or "my daughter" in passing, and you'll be amazed at how naturally it rolled off your tongue, and just how far you've come.