Wednesday, January 4, 2012


"May the tenure of our life on earth be characterized by one simple word: Jesus." ~Beth Moore

Dear Jeremy and Zachary,

Dad and I recently spent the better part of a day completing an exercise called "My Life Plan". The workbook we used plainly stated that in order to make a plan for your life, you have to know where it is you want to go. In other words, you must begin at the end and then figure out the steps you want to take to get you there. The idea is to visualize how you would like to be remembered by the important people in your life, and then to make a plan accordingly. The workbook suggested that I take a moment to imagine my funeral, and then to think about how I want to be remembered by God, my husband, my children, my parents, my colleagues, and my friends.

I had no idea what an emotional experience it would be to write down my thoughts about all of this, and I was most moved writing about how I want to be remembered by you, so I thought I would share my thoughts with you here:

I want my children to remember me the way we remembered John (my stepdad) at his funeral: as someone who spoiled us with his love. If my children remember me for nothing else, I want them to remember me as a mommy who loved them so lavishly and fiercely that there is absolutely no doubt in their minds that they were the apple of my eye. I want them to remember me as their champion--that I was on their team, not matter what. That I was their protective Mama Bear when they needed someone to defend them. I want them to remember me as their cheerleader, the president of their fan club, the person who believed in the beauty of their dreams, the person who believed in their ability to achieve their dreams, the person who believed in them. As they become adolescents and adults, I want them to remember me as their dear friend and confidant--the person they could come to with absolutely any thought, any question, any hurt or heartbreak, any joy or triumph, any issue to process. I want them to remember me as someone who gave great hugs. I want them to remember me as being both gentle and fun. I want them to remember me as someone who gave them the gift of my time. I want them to remember me as someone who prayed for them and helped introduce them to Jesus. And even when I'm long gone, and their memories of me begin to fade with time, I want them to remember me when they look in the mirror at themselves--not because we look anything alike, but because the Light that shines in their own eyes and hearts will be the same Light that shone in mine...the Light of Jesus. I want them to feel the love of Christ resonating in their souls when they remember Mama. 

I love you with all my heart,


Brian said...

Beautiful honey.

I clearly married over my head.

Jon Ryan and Christy said...

I can't remember if I've ever commented here, but I've followed your blog for some time. This brought tears to my eyes. My heart for the Lord, my husband and kiddos so resonates with yours. Thanks for all that you have shared I'm sure it blesses many more than you even know.

Anonymous said...

I love what you wrote! I also love what Brian commented.. So sweet!!


Anonymous said...

The love that shines from your eyes touches us all, as do these beautiful words from a mother's heart. One needs only to spend a few moments with you(and Brian) and your sons to "feel" the love that radiates between all of you, and to feel that a part of that is for "us", too!

Love, Alice

J at said...

What a beautiful note, letter, manifesto...I am always hesitant to take on such topics because I have never really connected with any career, and I feel like I'm supposed to want to follow my dream there. The idea of looking at how I want to be remembered by my daughter, that's amazing, and just the ticket for how to answer such a difficult question.

Ally said...

[Starshine, I found your blog via a comment you left on J's blog. I'm hoping that you remember me from blogging days long ago.]

I have never heard of doing the sort of exercise that you've shared in this post. Your clarity of purpose and confidence in the goodness of things shines through. It is a wonderful representation of who you are now-- which seems to be a mother of two!

Tracy said...


I definitely DO remember you and think about you more than you realize! I'm so happy you left me this comment and delighted to see you've started a new blog!

Yes, my husband and I became parents in August's been an awesome journey!