A Song for Waiting...

In Spanish, when a woman wants to say, "I'm expecting a baby", she says, "Estoy esperando un bebé". That same sentence could also be translated, "I am waiting for a baby". I love learning insights about life through another language. I love that the same verb--"esperar" means "waiting" as well as "expecting".

Indeed, the two are intertwined, as I'm learning through this adoption. As the wait feels longer and longer, my sense of expectation is growing.

Today, in my Bible Study Methods class, our teacher showed us a clip from The Dead Poets' Society. It was the inspirational scene when the students first hear their teacher whisper "Carpe Diem! Sieze the day!"

Moved by the scene, I came home and went to our iPod to listen to Barbara Streisand sing one of my favorite songs, called "Being Alive", which I always find inspirational, and I ended up listening to several of her songs. As I was listening to her sing "Something's Coming" from West Side Story, my thoughts drifted to our adoption, and tears began streaming down my cheeks. And before I knew it, I realized that I had found a song that perfectly captures my feelings right now as I wait in expectation for news of my child/ren. This song so perfectly captures my feelings, and the fact that it's a Broadway tune only makes it more fitting!

If you are in the waiting stage of adoption (or waiting on anything else for that matter), maybe this song will speak to you as well. Have a listen on the YouTube video below, and follow along with the lyrics I've included below it. (I'm a lyrics person!) May you have peace in the waiting...

Something's Coming

Could be!
Who knows?
There's something due any day;
I will know right away,
Soon as it shows.
It may come cannonballing down through the sky,
Gleam in its eye,
Bright as a rose!

Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Under a tree.
I got a feeling there's a miracle due,
Gonna come true,
Coming to me!

Could it be? Yes, it could.
Something's coming, something good,
If I can wait!
Something's coming, I don't know what it is,
But it is
Gonna be great!

With a click, with a shock,
Phone'll jingle, door'll knock,
Open the latch!
Something's coming, don't know when, but it's soon;
Catch the moon,
One-handed catch!

Around the corner,
Or whistling down the river,
Come on, deliver
To me!
Will it be? Yes, it will.
Maybe just by holding still,
It'll be there!

Come on, something, come on in, don't be shy,
Meet a guy,
Pull up a chair!
The air is humming,
And something great is coming!
Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Maybe tonight . . .

Mama Bear

The other day, as I was flipping through an old issue of Reader's Digest, I came across this quote by Charles M. Schultz, author of the Peanuts comic strip:

"A good education is the next best thing to a pushy mother."

Ain't that the truth? Yes, I am thrilled to have received a wonderful education, but it definitely takes a back seat to having been blessed with my mom for a mother. While "pushy" isn't the word I would choose to describe her style, there was never any doubt growing up that she was on my side. My Dad used to proudly chuckle that if anybody dare mess with her children, they would have Mama Bear to contend with--and hell hath no fury like an angry Mama Bear.

Mom was all about wanting us kids to learn how fight our battles for ourselves. However, when the situation was overwhelming and we needed her to step in, Mama Bear was there with her claws out and her fangs ready to devour the bad guys. It really was so wonderful to live under the umbrella of my mother's protection. That fierce loyalty means the world to a child.

For our family motto, Brian and I chose three words:

Love. Loyalty. Lifetime.

It comes from the Bible's book of Proverbs:

"Don't lose your grip on Love and Loyalty.

Tie them around your neck; carve their initials on your heart."

In my mother, love and loyalty were never in short supply. I'm blessed that those qualities are part of her legacy to me, and I can't wait to pass them on to my own children.

This Mama Bear is ready and waiting for her cubs!

A Family Outing to "The Blue Nile"

Brian's Mom was in town for a vist last week. We had such a great time with her. (I have a great mother-in-law!) We thought that while she was in town we would go out for Ethiopian food at The Blue Nile.

Then we thought, "Why not make it a family affair?", so we invited my mom, and my sister and her family!

Brian and I have adventuresome palates, so trying Ethiopian food was no big deal for us. My sister, on the other hand, is a little more skittish about it. Plus, she's pregnant, so she already has a queasy tummy to begin with. So I give BIG PROPS to my sis for jumping in! Thanks, Jilly!

Sammy didn't try the Ethiopian food, but he sure loved walking around the restaurant with his Uncle Brian taking in all of the decorations and new things to see!

It was a real blessing to have our whole family around the table at The Blue Nile...

We sure can't wait for our child/ren to join us soon. They were the only ones missing!

Baby A's First Birthday!

One of the wonderful adoptive families I've met through the adoption blog world are the Galindos. When we realized that we don't live too far apart, we decided to meet in person shortly before they traveled in June to meet their beautiful son.

In the fall, I photographed their family (you can see a few of those pictures here), and then they asked me if I would photograph their baby's first birthday party this past Sunday. Without further ado...(drumroll please)...meet the man of the hour! Don't you just want to kiss those adorable cheeks?!!

When it came time for the birthday cake, he knew just what to do:

He loved his cake!

I mean LOVED it!

Happy birthday, little guy!

You are precious!

A Cultural Context

Today, this day after New Year's Day when the gyms reopen and throngs of people flood through the doors to work off their holiday calories, I went to my first "Zumba" class. Zumba is an aerobic workout class done to Latin Music and incorporating the fundamentals of Latin Dance, such as salsa, merengue, samba, etc. It was an awesome workout. I left having worked up a good sweat and feeling a little more guapa and tranquila. ¡Olé!

As I was moving to the rhythms of the latin music, I thought about my year in Spain and how thankful I am to have an insight into Spanish culture. And of course, I've spent the majority of my life right here in Texas! It is impossible to grow up here without a bit of the local Mexican culture rubbing off on you, and for that I am happy and grateful! It made me glad that even though I would never pretend to completely understand the various latin cultures with which I've rubbed elbows, I do have a context for them! And today, I felt humbled and thankful to have a context for the dances I was doing and the music I was listening to. When the Zumba instructor spoke Spanish to our mostly latino class, I knew what she was saying, and when I heard the music, I could dance the salsa with a little bit of flair!

Last night, Brian and I watched a video, which is part of our required adoption training. The video was called "Grief and Loss in Adoption". The idea is that the hub at the center of the wheel of the adoption triad (birth parents, adoptive parents and adoptee) is loss. Obviously the birth parents have to grieve the significant loss of their child when they make a plan to place for adoption. Whether the adoptive parents are choosing adoption because of infertility or not, they still have to grieve the loss of their genetic continuity. What I hadn't stopped very long to consider, though, was the significant losses that an adoptee faces: loss of medical information/history, loss of knowing biological family, loss of nation of origin (in the case of international adoption), and a loss of control over the whole process (the adoptee never chose to be placed for adoption and didn't choose their adoptive family).

One of the people interviewed in the video was a lovely woman in her 20s or 30s. She was adopted from South Korea as an infant and raised in a caucasian family in Baltimore, Maryland. She spoke with a southern accent, and talked about her experiences of loss through her adoption. One of the things she has grieved as an adult was the loss of her identity as a Korean. Although she feels like an American girl internally, externally she is Asian. She spoke of not really fitting in with the Asian community because although she might look Asian, she has no grasp of Korean/Asian culture. What she did know, above all else was that she was a Cockran (the last name of her adoptive family).

Her suggestion to American families adopting from abroad was to not just think of exposing their adopted child to their culture of origin, but to have the mindset that the whole family adopts a bit of that culture. So in our case, just as we will adopt an Ethiopian child/ren into our family, our family will also become a little bit Ethiopian. Brian and I thought that made a lot of sense. While we will never be able to have a firm grasp on all things Ethiopian, we can make an effort to become a little bit Ethiopian as a family. We can go as a family to eat Ethiopian food (which we did today for lunch!). We can play Ethiopian music at home and celebrate certain Ethiopian holidays as a family.

My hope is that if my child/ren one day return to Ethiopia, that they will have the same sense that I had today in my Zumba class. Although they won't have a 100% grasp of life in Ethiopia, I hope the rhythms they hear, and the flavors of the food they taste will be just familiar enough to feel a part of it all because they have a context for it. And on days when my child/ren feel like they're not quite part of any one ethnic/cultural community, I hope they will know without a doubt they they are Owens!

Halfway There?

According to the most recent reports from our adoption agency, the average wait time to receive a referral (being matched with a child) for an infant is 7 and a half months.

Today marks exactly 3 months and 3 weeks on the waiting list, which by my calculations puts us half way there!

Yea!

A Double Advent

Joy to the World!

The Lord is come, let earth receive her king!

Let every heart prepare him room...

Preparing room in our hearts for Jesus. Isn't that what the Advent season is about?

But how does one actually prepare for an event as monumental as the arrival of Christ into the world? At the moment of conversion, did those of us who follow Christ ever pause to consider the enormous significance of his entrance into our lives and what would happen when he arrived to take his rightful place in our hearts? And during this season of Advent, are we prepared to welcome him into our lives anew?

If we're honest, I think the answer is "yes and no."

The dictionary defines the word "advent" as "the arrival of something momentous." I have to wonder, though, when those momentous occasions occur, do we truly realize what is arriving?

This year, as my wife and I take time each week of Advent to pause and "prepare him room", this season of preparation is taking on a deeper meaning, for we are actually preparing for two advents. We are preparing for both Christmas day, and for what is affectionately known in our adoption agency as "gotcha day." We long for this day, a day that will finally arrive after eighteen months of paperwork, social worker visits, blood tests, two sets of fingerprints, waiting lists, court dates, and a marathon flight to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. A day when we meet our little one/ones for the first time and become his or her (or their!) forever family.

Everything in our lives is about to change dramatically. Nothing will be the same.

Are we prepared to welcome this infant into our lives? Yes and no.

So much will have to change, starting with our names. The stockings hanging over our fireplace have the names "Brian" and "Tracy" stitched into the fabric. Those will have to go. Next Christmas, the new ones will read "Mom" and "Dad."

Our home currently feels like a haven of safety and comfort in the world. Our new family member will quickly challenge that assesment and will reveal to us a world of dangers we either never saw or comfortably ignored--things like exposed electrical outlets, glass keepsakes, and unlocked medicine cabinets.

Our current media consumption, our time spent with friends, our waking and sleeping schedules, our leisure time...it's all about to get tossed out the window and replaced with something new.

Gulp.

How comfortable we've become with the Christmas celebration. The arrlval of baby Jesus seems so innocent and unobtrusive, yet a moment's reflection on the upheaval awaiting expectant parents like us ought to move all of us to stop for a moment to seriously consider the transformation and upheaval awaiting all who sincerely welcome Christ into their lives.

But Advent is not a season of fear. It's a season of joyful anticipation. For when Jesus arrives, his upheaval involves rescuing us from the kingdom of darkness and transfering us into the kingdom of light (Colossians 1:12-13), the true resting place for our restless hearts.

So let every heart prepare him room this Advent season because ready or not, he's on his way.