Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Crazy Exhaustion, Certificates of Citizenship, Bonding with Zachy, Charmed by Jeremy

Over the past few weeks, I've been fighting some serious exhaustion. I could write a really long post about it, but the bottom line is that I still have no idea what was/is going on with me. After a week and a half of feeling so sluggish that I could barely peel myself off of the sofa, I went to the doctor. He examined me and ran blood tests and basically told me that he couldn't find anything wrong with me. My main symptoms were exhaustion, headaches, occasional fever, sweats/chills. I started to feel really frustrated and depressed because I wasn't getting better, or I'd think I was getting better, but then I'd relapse. I started to wonder if I was dealing with Post Adoption Depression Syndrome (because exhaustion is one of the main symptoms), but after listening to a talk on it, I don't think that's what it was. My best guess is that something viral is just taking its sweet time running through my system. OR I've been pretty exhausted ever since I came home from Ethiopia and it just gets worse at different times and it manifests itself with flu-like symptoms. Thankfully, I seem to be bouncing back this week, and I hope I'll be back to my normal self soon!

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The boys each received their United States Certificate of Citizenship in the mail! I forgot, though, that it doesn't have their new names on it. So I'm guessing that after we complete their Recognition of Foreign Adoption Decree and receive their state-issued Birth Certificates with their new names on it, we'll have to reapply for the Certificate of Citizenship reflecting their name changes. Hmmm. Have any of you other adoptive families thought about this one yet?

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In other fun news, Zachary fell asleep in my arms today! This was a first and for me it felt like a significant step in our bonding. Typically, he'll take his bottle, and even if he's sleepy after being burped, he won't fall asleep in my arms. He prefers to be swaddled and put in his crib with a pacifier. But today, I fed him a bottle and he fell asleep during the feeding. Then I burped him, and he was still sleepy, so I cradled him in my arms and he just fell back to sleep. I got all teary looking down at him sleeping in my arms. Sometimes he even smiles when he's sleeping. It felt so special to me because it's as if he is trusting me more and he's learning that I'm his Mama, and a safe place to doze. I just love that! And I love him so!

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Jeremy continues to charm me daily. Last week, I was a little chilly, so I threw on a cardigan over my t-shirt, and Jeremy looked at me and said, "Wow!"  That pretty much made my day! Love him!

8 comments:

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Oh gosh Tracy, so much of this is foreign to me since I've never adopted...but I can say that exhaustion is EXHAUSTING (HA!), and that falling in love with your children, and watching them fall in love with you, is MAGICAL.

I have bleary memories of those first few months with Maya, and I cannot imagine it would be any different whatsoever with adoption. Lack of sleep, crazy emotions, joys and frustrations, teething and diapers, laughter and tears. It's universal.

Mirroring your joy with having Zachary fall asleep in your arms (gorgeous), I still remember one special moment with Maya...I don't remember how old she was, but it was a few months. Ted brought her to me in bed to nurse, and instead of getting to business like she usually did, she spent about a minute just smiling at me, staring into my eyes, and BEAMING at me...if there was any tiny part of my heart that she did not own at that moment, it fell to her then. She eventually did nurse, thank goodness, but I think I shall always remember that as a wonderful moment in our relationship, and I hope you always remember this moment the same way.

Don't you wish you knew what the Wow was for? Your beauty? The lovely color of the sweater? One thing I have learned about kids is that what they think is going on is often NOT what is going on. Maybe he thought you were going to fly away with your magic cape? :)

kcinnova said...

Exhaustion is normal with young kids. Add in the emotions and adaptations your whole family is going through, and I'd say rest is key. (But I'm no doctor!)

My 3rd son was very independent and wanted to fall asleep on his own. The pushing away and pointing to the crib was almost heart-breaking (cute as it was).
A kid who falls asleep in your arms? Precious indeed!

Anonymous said...

Hi Tracy,
I was wondering how you got the Certificate of Citizenship so fast! We readopted our son in July got his U.S. passport and new Social Security card new birth certificate and we are STILL waiting on the Citizenship Certificate!I was told a minimun of 8 months!! WOW!! Awesome for you! I was just wondering how long it took you, and did you complete the readopt??

Thanks,
Karly

Tracy said...

Hi Karly,

My guess is that our sons came home on a different kind of visa than your son did. We were one of the first two trip families, so our sons came home on an IR-3 (?) visa, which made them citizens upon entering the country. Therefore, we don't have to do a readoption, but we are doing something called "Recognition of Foreign Adoption Decree", which is something that the US recognizes our foreign adoption and the state of TX will issue the boys TX birth certificates. I hope that helps!

Anonymous said...

Yep! Your completely right! We didn't do the 2 trips only 1 trip. Makes perfect sense. Thank you!! I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!! Thanks Again.
Karly

Laura said...

Too sweet Tracy. I really hope you are back to yourself soon! (Andrew never liked being held to sleep, either, not from the day he was born. It could very well just be his personality, or of course what he's been used to in the past. Cherish it!!)

The Busters said...

Tracy! I am so sorry you aren't feeling well!!!! Please call or email me if you need to talk!! I'm here for you and love you! I know what it is like to feel awful and not really have answers. I had terrible vertigo earlier this year and went to 3 ENTS and had an MRI and they never figured out the cause. My mom thinks it was stress induced and she may be right. I still have it every now and then and it is exhausting! I feel your pain.
Damon and I have just started investigating the whole name changing, social security card, US birth certificate stuff and it is a bit overwhelming and seems to be different from county to county here in Ohio. Just to make it more confusing. I'll keep you posted on what we figure out.
Praying for you, dear friend!
Love,
Emily

The Lefflers said...

Praying for you, dear friend. Love you lots!!
Kerith